Aries (March 21-April 19): Tom. You may be a cat and sure, Jerry may just be a mouse. But he's a lot smarter than you. At some point in your life, you've got to look yourself in the mirror and say "I tried my best and my best wasn't good enough." Then find a phone book and call pest control.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): You are not Robert Frost. Take the well traveled road. Trust me. There are ticks and snakes and stuff on the less traveled road.
Gemini (May 21-June 21): Smurfs are blue for a reason. They're poisonous. Don't try to eat them. You hear me, Azrael?!
Cancer (June 22-July 22): The clowns will be coming to your house pretending to be from a local church charity drive. Don't believe them. The white face paint and red rubber noses should be a dead give away.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): I knew a guy named Leo once. He sweated a lot and had bad body odor. I don't think his sign was Leo though. Probably something more akin to a Libra or Pisces.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Finally! The Dallas Cowboy's cheerleading squad will have a car breakdown on the side of the road. You, being the good Samaritan that you are, pull over to help them with the flat. Sadly, they are the Dallas Cowboy's male cheerleading squad, but you realize that some of them are really nice fellows and you don't even notice until later that they were all hitting on you.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct.23): Sure, there will be a lot of blood to clean up but...[See Horo, D5]
what if I invite the clowns in for beef coolers and they ask me to undress?
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are a Cancer so it should be okay.
ReplyDelete