By Grover Cleveland
BOISE, ID - Local Idahoan, Gwenevere Buttafuoco, went in for a dental procedure last Friday. When she woke from surgery, Buttafuoco realized that she was now Kristen Stewart. Buttafuoco asked her dentist, Marvin Millar, what happened. He replied, "Nothing unusual, Ms. Buttafuoco. I pulled four teeth. Nothing more." Millar did admit that laughing gas had side effects and it was possible that turning into Kristen Stewart was one of them. Millar had no idea how long the side effect would linger, but he hoped, for Buttafuoco's sake, it was permanent, adding that "there wasn't much to like about Gwenevere Buttafuoco but Kristen Stewart! Hubba hubba!"
For her part, Buttafuoco was trying to remain optimistic about the whole ordeal.
"Sure, I'm rich and famous now," Buttafuoco said. "I even know how to act...well, kind of. Let's be honest, Kristen's not the best actress. But I guess there's always going to be a part of me that misses plain old Gwenevere Buttafuoco and her minimum wage job at the Burger Hutt. I mean, what's not to like about that?"
Buttafuoco then laughed merrily as she jumped into her newly converted pool filled with hundred dollar bills.
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